From now on every aspect of my life will be subject to scrutiny and the question that will always apply is : What would Nat King Cole do? Honest.
Ha! is this actually a thing?
On Our Own - Bobby Brown (Acoustic Cover)
People have told me they have watched this.
Ok, so I have met some interesting like minded people who share some of my quirks since I have been away from London studying at University. It has been a year and a half and part of me doesn’t want University life to end basically. I feel as though I have achieved some personal milestones that I couldn’t be more proud of. From having my head in books all day to indulging in my first experiences of broadcasting and to just being able to be the full blown weirdo that I can’t run away from, it has been fun.
Anyway I have started this odd vlogging discussion channel with my bud Zi Patel-Champion (who also does The Common Room Radio Show with me) called “Tea For Two”. I am not exactly sure what comes to your mind with that title but whatever you are thinking I’m sure it’s fitting. “Tea For Two” follows me and Zi having some obscure discussions about topics that people only ever contemplate about. Each episode will be ten minutes long and involve us saying stuff in between digesting biscuits and gulps of tea. “Tea For Two” generally is an extension of our frienship captured on film emulated through the vlogging format. Here is the first episode on “Biscuits”, yep that’s right, enjoy the opening credits I know I still do SUBSCRIBE AND BE THANKFUL YOU ARE NOT US. T42.
Ole school Brandy!
I’m star-crossed and stark
I’m waiting for you to talk
And I radiate on the tip of your tongue
My eyes are easily bandaged from falling over best friends
Northstar || “Train Hopping In Dixieland”
Bloom - Turnover (Acoustic Cover)
I just had one of the saddest conversations with one of my longest friends of nine years. He basically knows me inside out and vice versa. It has been a long time coming and I was waiting for him to call me (after I had childishly opted to not contact him) so I’d know he would want to talk. I feel so immature as I write this but I cant reduce my feelings to insignificance as they are genuine.
I think part of my bitterness has risen out of my own censorship to say stuff at the right times. I let it all bottle up inside of me while trying to turn my back to it at the sign of it rearing its head. I’m 20 now I really don’t have time for selfish people. Individuals who are only hellbent on their own gain. I dont need it this year or for the future it brings nothing and I only ever want to move forward. I’m sick of dragging the rotting friendships along the paths I see ahead of me. My hands are worn from gripping around the limbs for so long.
I am not sure whether I am being insensitive. During our conversation tonight I just said I think it is better if we just dont talk anymore, we’re both better off. I’m tired of being dependent on others so I have been forced to do the severing myself. It may not be the most healthiest coping mechanism but I have been backed into the corner.
What made it worse was that he didn’t even say that I was being unfair or unreasonable. He just said “I understand”,While apologizing. Am I in the wrong for handling it the way I have. I am honestly just trying to not be the insecure dependent mess I was last year, for the sake of myself. I need to start looking out for myself. I dont want to be hung up on the fact that this person didn’t come through when I need him.
It seems such a shame and this (my actions to cut people off) have already severely afflicted awkwardness on one of the my other long lasting friendships that had its complications. It’s for his own good too.
I’m just hoping this is just me going through a period where I am just being over-sensitive and come tomorrow I will see more sense, but it feels fine thus far in wherever I am heading.
I’m happy to say that one of my Journalism lecturers said I look like this man (Chiwetel Ejiofor) today, thank you Ted. Thank you.